We wanted to get away for a night and enjoy a stay at a motel/hotel. We just wanted to enjoy a different pool for once, as the pool here contains so much chlorine bleach that it burns the piss out of your eyes. Our A/C unit at home is a bit underpowered, so holing up in a motel room for a night away, soaking up the abundant A/C accompied with frequent trips to the pool, was going to be a good little adventure.
Being slightly spur-of-the-moment driven, we didn't spend much time investigating available options. We only knew that there were a few motels and hotels in a certain area of Longview. Our first clue should have been not being able to reach this business by phone, it would simply ring and ring... Can you say: "line two"?...
Being slightly spur-of-the-moment driven, we didn't spend much time investigating available options. We only knew that there were a few motels and hotels in a certain area of Longview. Our first clue should have been not being able to reach this business by phone, it would simply ring and ring... Can you say: "line two"?...
The motel looked wholesome enough on the web page, and when we arrived at the area, it was the first one we saw, parked next to a McDonald's and a Jack In The Box... Great! On the other side was an Express Inn, which looked mildly defunct and not showing a pool in sight. We quickly chose the America's Best Value Inn, as it almost had a 'Bavarian Chalet' look to it.
It was nice and cool in the lobby; another ploy to gain our trust and get in our wallets. We inquired about a room for rent (said to the lady in best Popeye voice: "You gotsk a room for rinks?")...
The lady put us in room 114, which showed to be, according to the paper placemat map, caddy-corner to the pool... Yes! Mamasan asked about the pool. "Is it open?" with a raised brow.
Perplexed, the counter liason ducked behind the wall and asked another un-faced lady if the pool was open, and the woman responded: "Yes, yes it is. The pool is open". Great! This was going to be fun. I was, at this point, comtemplating buying a Chelada to celebrate this impromptu getaway mini-vacation...
Upon parking the car, we strolled over to the pool to check it out, and I immediately thought: "wow, nobody at the pool, really".
The pool, upon closer inspection, looked like a college science class project. This is where Humaniods From The Deep come from, not a fishing village like you were led to believe... Evil lurked in the murky depths of this pool. A feaux-asis as told from a nameless, faceless voice from behind a wall... "The pool is open". ~ I would rather go swim in a mirage... :/
Once into our room, A/C switched to high, and channel-surfing underway, our thoughts of contempt turned into thoughts of comfort. Until we noticed this: Three people, two beds, and one pillow... Wtf? So T and I stroll back up to the office to get 3 more pillows and an ashtray; after all, you don't just want to ash on the nice carpet of a smoking room... But wait, because as I look around the floor near the round table to one side of the room, next to the bed, I notice a couple of ash piles, a macaroni noodle, and a couple of other trash items, and what looked to be an unidentified piece of dried-up and shriveled meat. Perhaps the last occupant wasn't provided an ashtray, either. A sure sign the maid hadn't vacuumed. One comforter had a large, dark stain of some sort, and one of the sheets looked like it was peeled-out on by a motorcycle. And later on, the cockroaches made their appearance, a familiarness to the room as they sauntered proudly under well-lit conditions...
Despite these obvious red flags, we weren't let shortfalls of doing business with uncaring Middle-Eastern owned businesses in America. I only say this out of past experiences, not out of spite. We had our A/C, and J had thought ahead, as she already had the Xbox360 hooked up and in a lobby waiting for Team Deathmatch to begin, by the time T and I unloaded the car. Time for A/C, Black Ops, and pizza...
Acknowledging the all-too handy Domino's ad printed onto the roomkey card, we ordered a couple of pizzas. A large deep crust with pineapple and mushroom, with onion on half, and the other a medium thin-crust pepperoni. After inhaling nearly half of the thin, medium, square-cut pepperoni pie, we tried the big boy. The crust was perfect, thick and fluffy; seasoned just right with a hint of garlic butter. A few bites into it, I realized that the pineapple tidbits (pedasitos de pina~) tasted mildly rancid. They had served us fruit that should have been thrown out and replaced with fresh inventory... Dammit Longview!
Every time we walked over to McDonald's we had a panhandler skulking around trying to get this or that from us. Tweaker-zombies roamed the late-night streets, in search of their next fuel. The one time I should have my piece with me, I leave it back in the room, under the Jack In The Box taco. Good taco. Boom boom from the late-night bass cannons rolling through the drive-thru at McDonald's; vibrating the walls in our sleepover bunker. Cars sitting on mirrored metals, too big for the vehicle. Sitting at an exaggerated height and displaying too much of a financial investment, these cars scream to me: "Look at me, I climb tree". People on this planet are fighting and dying for noble causes, and all the further we can think is how we can make an inanimate object like a car scream out our personalities in attempts to get noticed. Once observed, you reveal that you have no real content underneath all that polished chrome and attention-getting shit. Your breathe reeks of ignorance and laziness; but I digress...
Despite all of the unsavory factors, we had an enchanted outing, and can't wait for the next random outing. Happy Birthday, T, I love you! :)
